I went to my GP today (15 September 2023) to have a review of my anxiety medication and discuss my long term plan for managing my anxiety. When I started the meds about a year ago I imagined myself only being on them for a year or so until things were … I don’t know … ‘fixed’ ?! In my head it was a short term thing and then I’d be on my merry way medication free…
Instead today I proudly told my GP that I finally, for the first time in 36 years, understand my anxiety and the impact it’s had on my life and I had my prescription renewed📝
It’s like now that it’s under control, I can finally see how it has been affecting me and my life and I understand a lot of my triggers clearer now too. This gives me the power to avoid or prepare for situations that trigger my anxiety. Key word: power.
Understand my personal presentation and response to my anxiety disorder better has lead me to communicating my needs and my reactions better. I feel I can finally explain to my non-anxious husband in a way he can understand.. why couldn’t I before? Maybe because I was ignoring my anxiety disorder? Because I didn’t really understand it?
Thinking about this a lot today also made me really sad. Sad that it took me so long to feel comfortable addressing it, sad that it wasn’t normal to talk about it when I was young and struggling silently, sad that many people in the world don’t have the privilege to just pop down to the GP to chat about their mental health, pay a gap fee of ~$50 and then walk out of the pharmacy with a months worth of life-affecting medication for $9. Oh how the world would be a different place if mental health support was available to everyone..
I’ve also paired my medication with therapy sessions, deep conversations with my husband and parents (the support has been incredible), weekly yoga and an increased focus on a range of physical exercise, nutrition and sleep.
It’s a work in progress as I imagine everyone feels their well-being is… but today I feel lucky. Lucky to have support and access to healthcare and lucky to be on this path of understanding and communicating, lucky that discussing mental health in my family is normal (thinking about my kids growing up with this being a normal conversation topic is amazing), lucky that after years of insomnia I can now sleep, lucky that I can continue breastfeeding while taking medication and lucky to be feeling in control.
Anyway, I wanted to share my journey so far in case anyone wants to ask questions or just needs to see a random post about mental health to normalise it that tin bit more.
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